Visiting a friend

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

Sadness just washes over me whenever I learn about someone dying. 

My husband Ronnie and I visited his good friend at a hospital, who was told by doctors that he only has a few days to live because the other half of his heart had literally died. 

Ronnie's good friend Ed is calm and relaxed when we arrived at the intensive care unit (ICU) of the Presbyterian Hospital here at Huntersville despite all the tubes and machines attached to him in both sides.

I wore protective gear to avoid infecting him with any germs I may have with me. 

Ed's entire family is here- two daughters and a son from Arkansas and Connecticut as well as his ex-wife and they had a reunion of sorts. 

It was just sad listening to them and learning that someone they love has to leave soon. Ed said something to me like” the people we meet in our lives” because he knew that I would write about it. 

Going home I asked Ronnie if Ed is aware that his days are numbered and Ronnie said yes.  

Indeed life is strange- sometimes we are happy and then we are sad and by tomorrow someone we know and even love is gone tomorrow.

A walk of faith and beliefs

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

I think the last procession I attended was five years ago. Attending processions is a form of therapy for me. Attending the Marian procession today at Kannapolis, North Carolina was food to my spiritual longing.

Over a hundred devotees of Mama Mary attended the procession that was held after the exposition of the Blessed Sacrament inside the Performing Arts center where the Spanish tract of the Marian Congress was held.

I was into my spiritual world with the devotees praying the rosary and singing adoration songs to our Lady. The statue of Mama Mary was dressed in white with thick white sequins and was carried by four men.

I walked past the devotees hoping to get a good picture (by the way I was able to touch the dress of the Lady) when I saw the woman wearing a terno who I'm sure is a Filipino.

I smiled and she smiled back and we started talking. She gave her name as Aida Gamalo and I was surprised because I wanted to interview a Fil-American. I counted it as a blessing, yet another example of how God works in mysterious ways.

Me at right with a devotee

I missed the retreat and English seminar track because I don't have a ride. Sherrlyn Tamayo-Siplon and I couldn't make the time. But anyway, talking to Aida as if I was talking to a nun at the time, I learned about her commitment to Marian evangelization.

She said Marian evangelization is what's needed by the world these days. Aida introduced Mama Mary as her companion and she said they travel together whenever there's a Marian Congress in town.

It struck me when she said that there are miracles but she wants to focus on the vision of Mary. “She wants us to be united and to pray for her son Jesus,” Aida said.

It was interesting to me to listen to her talk because she told me that our Muslim brothers believed on Mama Mary- their version of Mary is named Miriam.

“With all these problems we encountered now- we have in our Lady the common grounds among the believers of the mother of Jesus,” Aida said.

While the procession was a short walk because we just covered the small block of space around the Performing Arts Center, I considered it to be a long, fruitful walk of faith and beliefs. This is what devotion to Mary is all about - bringing us to Christ. 

“To stay close to Mary is to stay close to Christ - it is one and the same thing because she is so at one with her Son. They cannot be separated. In our lady I am reminded of my own mother,” Aida said.

What a blessed weekend for me. 

Rosary makers extend their ministry in North Carolina and beyond

Deacon and ministry director Robert Murphy prays over Mary Grace Gaither while her husband Steve and son John look on, 

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

The Rosary Makers of the Ministry of St. Mark Church at Huntersville, North Carolina is looking to expand its membership base by tendering more baby showers among its myriad activities.

Last Sunday, the Rosary Makers tendered a baby shower for spouses Mary Grace and Steve Gaither. Mary Grace is an active member of the ministry in the past years ever since she arrived in North Carolina.

Deacon Robert Murphy blessed Grace with prayers for the safe delivery of her baby girl this March 15. Her husband and expectant father Steve and their first born Josh were also prayed over. 

Me seated at extreme left helping out with making rosaries. 

Deacon Murphy is the spiritual director of the ministry. “It is our joy to give baby showers to our members that have been with us for a couple of years. We are all about pro life.” said Susan Claire-Wild, the ministry's coordinator.

Grace and Steve already picked Stephanie as the name of their second child. Gifts given to the couple included stuff for newborn girls that are mostly colored pink from the rosary makers. 

A little throwback is in order; Steve and Grace first met in the Philippines in 2007 and got married in 2009 after Steve converted into Catholic faith.

Steve has to memorize all the Catholic prayers and pass an interview with the local priest in Lipa, Batangas. For one who never liked school, reading and memorizing, what Steve did could only be described as love. 

The Rosary Makers were excited over the arrival of the 5th baby into their circle and as expected, the party had tables laden with all sorts of Filipino food.

The first baby born to the ministry is Charlie Lightle, followed by Raymond Kelly (JR), Allan James Lightle, then Zoe and now Stephanie. Susan Claire-Wild said the Rosary Makers is becoming big and would be six years old this fall.

Spiritual director and Deacon Robert Murphy with ministry coordinator Susan Claire Wild (in blue), 

She recalled that the ministry started with only four members making rosaries at a round table but this was followed by a new member every month. 

There are now 40 members making rosaries at home who meet once a month.

“There is a need for rosaries at our church--St Mark for faith formation and that is  over 700 rosaries a year for Faith Formation, Baptism, First Holy Communion, Confirmation, RCIA, Newcomer ministry,” Wild said.

Susan Wild joined the ministry three years ago and asked what she could do to help. Since then, she and other members were kept busy making rosaries for hospice homes, Ronald McDonald Homes for the ill children and their families.

They also give rosaries for free to charitable institutions, nursing homes, hospices, parish teen retreats and adoration chapel. 

The rosaries made by the Ministry of St. Mark are distributed to Africa, Japan, Peru and Ecuador. Next week, the group will be sending rosaries to Archbishop Antonio Ledesma in Cagayan de Oro, Philippines. 

“We are here to help each other and support each other. We are blessed to have such wonderful caring people in our rosary makers ministry,” Wild said.

(The blogger/author is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who works as a nanny in North Carolina. Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis)

MJ: Cutting and styling her way to success

MJ working with her client to achieve the perfect cut

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

I love my hairstylist. There is something about these people that you begin to trust them not just with caring for your hair but also with other things. 

In the years that I spent as TV host in Cagayan de Oro I was close to my hairstylist Carla Salvana (of Carla 2000) who maintained my hair six times a week, helping me look good on screen for  many years.  

Now that I'm in the US or specifically North Carolina, I had to find someone to replace Carla and after several weeks I think I found one already.

She is Mary Jane Maturan, born and raised in Davao City, Philippines. She is making a name in Charlotte that even the president of the Filipino American Association Community of the Carolinas ( FACC) Malette Aquino is a regular customer along with many others. 

Mary Jane who by the way goes by the name MJ told me that there is no such secret in hair cutting or doing hair for that matter. “Just my work and passion,” MJ said. And I really do love what she's done with my hair.

MJ posing with her client Genevieve Cordery, Miss Asia of Carolina 2011

Hard work
She explained to me that there are a few things that are very important to hairstylists. This include customizing the cut which means studying the shape and status of clients. 

She didn’t explain what status meant but I guess she refers to the customer's lifestyle. MJ explains that she focuses on three foundations of hairstyling "the technique” "the texture"  and the customer's individuality. 

MJ said these three must go together to achieve what she considers the perfect hair cut for the customer. MJ told me about how she became a hairdresser which wasn't easy. 

She started as a junior hairstylist which entails working like a helper in the beauty salon doing the shampoo, blow drying and cleaning up afterwards.

“It was hard work. But it was fun and exciting,” she said .She said she learned a lot, including the value of hygiene and sanitation in her work. MJ graduated from the Ricky Reyes Learning Institute in Manila, Philippines. 

Passion
Ten years into her job in the US and the rest is history. “Customizing my creation to suit my client's shape, on most up-to-date looks. I'm deeply passionate about my work, especially on cuts and color,” MJ said.

In her 10 years of working in her own salon, MJ continues to perfect her skills with every client she works on so she can build a name for herself among those in her industry.

“Loving your work with passion and dedication is my greatest asset in my career while also helping others succeed are my goals in life,” MJ said. 

Her words remind me of my friend Carla back home in Cagayan de Oro. They both had a sense of humor and an unlimited supply of charm that endears them to their customers.  

I still have so many things to tell you about MJ in the next blog. But for now, check her out at her website www.maryjanehairstudio@gmail.com. (All photos taken from her website at www.maryjanestudio.com). 

(The blogger/author is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who works as a nanny in North Carolina. Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis)

Fil-American dance troupe making waves in the Carolinas

Some of the dancers perform the tinikling, the quintessential Filipino dance number

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

Slowly but surely, it is making a name for itself and receiving invitations for performances left and right here in Charlotte, North Carolina. 

I'm talking about the Philippine Cultural Dance Troupe of Charlotte that was set up by Florami Lao Cordero-Lee four years ago before she became immediate past president of the Filipino American Association of the Carolinas (FACC).

Lee said the dance troupe was intended to promote Philippine culture through music, dance and costumes. There are seven adult members including herself and the youngest, Ginger Butler, is nine years old. 

Other members include Maria Benrokiya, Alma Butler, Raquel Robinson, Blessel Butler, Allyssa Abalos and Rutchie Secretaria.  “I had different performers as the years go by,” Lee said. 

She explained that some of the members are in college while the others got  married. The dance troupe had been invited to different gatherings, not just in Asian communities.

Of the many dances in the Philippines they performed, the “tinikling,” “binasuan” and “subli” are among the most requested. “Different dancers, different choreographies and different times,” Lee added with a smile. 

The tinikling dance is one of the most popular and well-known of the traditional Philippine dances, a pre-Spanish routine that involves two people beating, tapping and sliding bamboo poles on the ground and against each other.

While two people handle the bamboo poles, one or more dancers step in and out between the poles. 

Based on what I read in Wikipedia, “tinikling” is a reference to birds locally known as tikling, and the term literally means "tikling-like. 

The dance originated in Leyte among the Visayan islands in the central Philippines as an imitation of the tikling bird dodging bamboo traps set by rice farmers. 

The dance imitates the movement of the tikling birds as they walk between grass stems, run over tree branches, or dodge bamboo traps set by rice farmers. 

Through the “tinikling” dancers imitate the tikling bird's legendary grace and speed by skillfully maneuvering between large bamboo poles.

Legend says that “tinikling” originated during the time when the Spaniards took over the Philippines. Natives worked on large plantations under the control of the King of Spain. 

Those who didn't work productively were punished by standing between two bamboo poles. Female “tinikling” dancers wear a dress called balintawak or patadyong while the male dancers wear a uniform called barong tagalog. 

The balintawak are colorful dresses with wide arched sleeves and the patadyong is a pineapple fiber blouse paired with checkered skirts. 

The barong tagalog consists of lightweight long sleeved shirts and worn with red trousers. Dancers wear no footwear while performing.

The other native Filipino dance, Binasuan,  consists of three drinking glasses that a Binasuan dancer, usually female, balances on her head and in the palms of both her hands as she moves. 

Each glass is half-full with rice wine and a Binasuan dancer's skill is determined by her ability not to drop a glass or spill any wine during her performance. 

Lee said the audience usually gasps whenever they see the female dancers perform the Binasuan due to the glasses over their heads. 

Lastly, the “subli”, a folk dance considered as a favorite of the people of the barrios of Bauan town, Batangas province, is a ceremonial worship dance performed in homage to the Holy Cross. It is referred to in the vernacular as Mahal Na Poong Santa Cruz.

The Philippine Cultural Dance Troupe of Charlotte recently performed during the dragon celebration for the Chinese New Year and at the Hilton Tyvola. The public can certainly expect more from this group in the years to come. 

(The blogger/author is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who works as a nanny in North Carolina. Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis)

The reality of snow

Me trying to keep a cheerful pose despite the freezing cold. 

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

My first snow storm in US after four years here in my adoptive country and I had mixed feelings.

At first like any other child or adult I was excited to see the snow.  Last year snow wasn't enough. I mean the snow was just enough for me to do some picture taking; in 2012 I haven't seen snow. And last year wasn't much to cover the road. 

The past few days have produced some major snow. The first day of snow was quite exciting; I was like any child seeing it as magical ice flakes falling from the  heavens. The angels must be playing soap suds from above.

The child in me thought that angels or fairies couldn't contain anymore the soap suds. They looked so white and flawless. 

After a day of looking at the snow I say, in real life, snow was not nearly as delightful as it appeared in movies and on TV. What I thought now differed from what I looked at then, a great window view from the comfort of home.

For one who came from a faraway place where snow is just pictured in greeting cards and books, nearly nothing and no one prevented me from going out to see and touch the snow for myself.

Wearing five layers of clothing to cover my ears and neck and winter shoes to keep me warm, I went out with a cell phone on my breast pocket as Ronnie reminded me to keep close in case of an accident.

Advisories
By the way I learned from my Nanay (mother) and Lola (grandmother) to always cover my ears, feet and head when it is cold because it's where the cold air would usually enter. 

Before I wondered how come there was no hole in my head. What a thought. Of course that changed when I studied biology.

I re-traced the steps taken by a person ahead of me and I slowly navigated my way among the cars towards the main street of Ruffner drive where I lived here at Cornelius, North Carolina. 

The snow was above my knee already. The fresh snow on top of the old snow made it high, I can tell. The air was chilly but I inhaled just to let the cool air engulf my insides.

There were a few persons I saw in the sea of white, a couple who were taking pictures and kids making a snowman. The place was quiet and melancholy. We don’t have this in the Philippines.

But I worry for the birds and squirrel that I passed by every time I walk. I saw one small bird over the chrysanthemum trees hopping from one branch to another, hoping it finds some warmth. 

I pity the dog owners because they have to bring the dogs for a walk. The past days storm warnings and advisories were issued by public officials through the various media outlets. 

Historic
In fact I heard that Gov. Pat Mcrory declared a state of emergency over the Carolinas. I heard also in South Carolina that the state governor issued the same warning.

Radio and TV stations blared updates on the snowstorm and reminded everyone to stay out of the roads as snow turned them into ice. It's too dangerous to commute as the volume of snow got heavier and the ice has thickened considerably.

My hubby Ronnie said this month's snow fall is historic; he couldn't remember the last time there was a snowstorm in the Carolinas He said I should Google it but I answered no.

If he didn't remember the last snow storm that hit the Carolinas, then it must have been a really long time ago. Last update I learned that traffic had ground to a halt. 

No school I think not only today but for several days. Offices are close except government agencies. So no work no pay. As simple as that.

But at least almost everyone is at home and spending time with the family; I think that is the message of this snowstorm. The icy gridlock brought me here to to the computer. It's not fun anymore because I wanted to take a walk.

Growing up in the Philippines had not prepared me for this kind of winter and how to bundle myself up to keep warm throughout the day.

At least there's the Internet, the laptop, books, food, movies at home and TV programs to keep me entertained, otherwise you never know what to do in this situation. 

By the way our condo is strategically situated, fronting the gazebo and the street. The snow is falling quite heavily from left to right. 

To the readers out there, do you have any tips on enjoying and keeping productive in a snowstorm? Give me a call or better yet, write a comment below.

(The blogger/author is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who works as a nanny in North Carolina. Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis)

Dental tales

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

WHEN I was small, I don't like dentists. I think most kids in my time share my opinion. Of course my attitude towards dentists changed over time. 

How I wish I made friends with dentists when I was still young so I could have taken better care of my teeth.

It was a different time then. The dentist's clinic scared me even with the smell of Lysol as I saw the pot where they boiled the big needles and other dentist tools. 

When a tooth must be extracted because the dentist could no longer save the tooth one has to pray. At Tagoloan Central School and later at pilot school, the first in class to face the dentist is someone big in front of the class.

As you can see nobody would volunteer to be the first. Many would suggest that the patients be listed in alphabetical order. One needs to muster his or her courage if he or she would be the first and the others would ask him or her how it felt afterwards.

I couldn't remember if there was a time I was first in line. But I think once I volunteered to be the first so that I can go home. 

In my Grade 1 to Grade 4 classes were Gracia Nabong-Salac, Nonalyn Eduave, Evangeline Gamber, Solita and Minda Casino while the boys were Santos Casino, Vicente Yap. 

A fortune
Milan Dagus came in to our school from Sta. Cruz when we were in Grade 5, I think. But I'm digressing. The tooth extraction really hurts. 

Usually the trips to the dentist would be announced in advance and the students would make an excuse in advance to avoid their appointments. 

I don’t remember exactly what year it was that I had my right molar tooth extracted. I do remembered that no amount of cotton laced with white flower would soothe the pain. 

The ache was so horrible that I knocked on the wall repeatedly. It is said that a toothache is the most painful feeling. The problem with pain is that it multiplies and reverberates throughout the body. 

No dentist would extract if the gums are bleeding or swollen. I was already big that time when I went to the dentist in my town and asked if he could extract my tooth. He was reluctant but I told him he should finish it. 

To cut the story short the right molar tooth was taken out and the first thing I did was get out of the clinic and pulverized the extracted tooth to ashes- it was my only means to get even with that tooth for causing me so much pain.

It is a different time for the dental care clinic 30 years ago when TV would flood viewers with toothpaste and mouthwash commercials. Braces also made it to he scene too, never mind if it came from Cogon and was peddled by our Maranao brothers.

A little detour on memory lane; I remembered asking a friend where she got her braces and she told me she got it at Cogon for P200. “It's a fashion statement,” she said and I thought, doesn't braces cost a fortune?

Drilling
Just ask my favorite dentist in Cagayan de Oro Dr. Dante Pajo. He took very good care of my teeth back then and he discounts his services. 

I was unable to see him when I returned to Cagayan de Oro three years ago because he was identified with the purple (violet?) color and I don't want to jeopardize his political relations.

So I went to another dentist, the son of Dr. Dignos, my favorite public dentist. Her son is also a dentist and a very good one too. Flash forward to my new home in North Carolina.

Dental care costs a fortune here in the US if you don't have insurance. But the price is worth it. The dentist made my two crowns in front of me in less than seven minutes each. 

I checked in at the Carolina Dental Clinic at 9:30 a.m. After exchanging  pleasantries with my dear Ronnie, the dentist started working on my teeth. 

An X-ray showed that I needed two crowns to hold the “partial teeth in the front.” I was given a Novocain shot which rendered my upper left chin numb allowing him to work  on my teeth. 

It was okay at first even when I heard the drilling on my tooth. More drilling and I can feel some pain so I prayed my rosary and I exclaimed that it hurt. So he gave me another shot and I can hear the drilling but felt no pain.

What is he doing there, I wondered. For 30 minutes it was done and I was wheeled to another room. I laid down on a dental chair wearing a dental apron. The lady assistant said another dentist would be with me shortly.

Crowns
Then a good looking young man wearing a blue uniform came and asked if I am okay. I said I was okay but inside I said “no more drilling please.” 

He used what looked like a little mirror spoon in my mouth to check on what was done earlier. He also had on his hands what I thought was a little USB. 

I think he was measuring something, I don’t know, because I laid so low and he was seated in front of me. 

This story is quite long already so to sum it up, he made my crowns or “replacement teeth” in front of me. It's quite amazing and the price is amazing too. 

Until the next dental tale, this is your tooth fairy mother telling you to take very good care of your teeth.

(This article also appeared in Sun.Star Cagayan de Oro printed and online edition. For more of my articles in Sun.Star, visit the site here.)

More tales of the Tagoloan fiesta

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

Last Saturday we talked about the fiesta of my beloved hometown of Tagoloan, Misamis Oriental, in northern Mindanao, Philippines.

I thanked all the reactions and comments worldwide. This article is the sequel to fire the memories. At least I could jog my brain quite a bit. Here's my recollection on the food served during the annual town fiesta. 

Four days before the fiesta, residents would cook the “torta.” The torta, I think, is a close cousin of the cake and is best eaten during breakfast with hot coffee and “suman (glutinous rice shaped like a tube and wrapped in banana leaves).”

It's not only a good breakfast treat, it can also be a dessert for those who came late during the fiesta and are so full that they only want to eat a light snack.

Torta cake from Argao town, Cebu. Photo from marketmanila.com

I remember “Iya Oling”, who cooks the best torta in Tagoloan town that my Nanay (mother) would often go to whenever she wants it served during meals or the fiesta itself.

I forgot her family name but she lived at the back of the house of my classmate Santos Casino. She wore her hair in a bun. I don’t know if they are related though.

Overnight 
I would be commissioned by Nanay to bring the basket containing the flour, margarine, eggs and sugar to the house of Iya Oling. Iya Oling’s house was always busy and smelled of “pugon” or smoky rice. 

I can recall she has assistants that go in and out of her house clad in aprons. She has this big native oven that uses “charcoal” and coconut shells to cook the cakes and tortas. 

Aside from Iya Oling, there's “Iyo” David Pacheco, the father of my childhood friend Toto Pacheco-Nairn, a nurse now based in California and Gangga Lepon.

Iyo David would tap me as his assistant while hovering around their kitcken at the back. I don't beat and mix the eggs, I just bring the coconut shells to the kitchen. It's a dirty job but at least I get to be among the first to taste the torta.

Torta is usually eaten after the first Mass. There are those by the way who would be early for the fiesta and go home after a light breakfast of torta, suman and coffee the following day.

They would carry with them plastic bags filled with freshly butchered pork meat. In the old days all homes have pigs to butcher for the fiesta. Rarely does one see anyone buying meat in the market especially on the eve of the fiesta. 

The butchering or “massacre” of the pigs (apologies to animal rights activists and vegetarians, but that's Filipino culture) starts at the eve or the bisperas of the fiesta so the meat would be fully marinated overnight.

A cut of Mary's hair 
A lot of people also have to clean the inside and outside of the butchered pig before it is marinated and it takes several hours especially if the pig is big.

Some households butcher the pig three days before if they have a lot of guests. If one happens to visit Tagoloan and hear the cries of the pigs, it usually means it's fiesta day. Still others would butcher, clean and roast the pig on fiesta day itself.

Fiesta time is quite fun in those days especially when there's the peria or carnival. The carnival is stationed either at a large vacant space in the old market or in the area fronting the homes of the Marianos and the Eduaves families. 

The carnival would usually arrive a month before the fiesta and the town plaza would become a big house during the day and a noisy, busy beehive of activity at night.

As I mentioned last week, the Church is kept busy preparing for the novena, the cleaning and changing the clothes of the blessed Mary. 

During the changing of the clothes, Sueing (Conselue Ya-Sabio) told me that Tital Alde Mariano leads the praying the Rosary. Among those participating is the Women for Christ group consisting of Maricel Sy, Gemma C. Principe and Rosebelinda N. Casino. 

Other members of the group are Dotie Y. Antillon, Ophelia Casino, Mai-mai Saldon and other choir members headed by Bobby Lee.

During this time the male volunteers clean the altar. Sueing mentioned that Maricel Sy would shampoo the hair of Mama Mary this time. This year I think Maricel noticed that the hair of Mama Mary has grown so she cut it. 

For the believers they ask a cut of Mama Mary's hair. If I was there I would volunteer also and probably would really ask for a piece of the hair. There are many more stories to tell but I would have to reserve that for the next fiesta, next year.

(This article also appeared on Sun.Star Cagayan de Oro's website. For more of my articles visit the Sun.Star website here)