Uplifting road trip to sisters of St. Clare

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

Charlotte, North Carolina—My husband and I are currently in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland visiting family especially the grandbabies.

Spring is officially here but the winds are still nippy. My daughter Gg Palmes-Boddison reminded me last Saturday that we would join a group of three Filipino-Britons with Maita Yestes to visit the contemplative nuns of the Order of St. Clare.

Joining us were Carmen Salas Hewett, who was born and raised in Mambajao, Camiguin province and Dalian Dalugdog Sleigh, who is more a native of Butuan City though she spent some time in Davao City.

Maita is known to some who follow my columns and blogs. I consider Maita a relative since she is from my hometown of Tagoloan, Misamis Oriental. I knew her late mama who was only two years older than me.

Everyone in her family are known to me. So as we drove to the monastery I took in the scenery and marveled at all the greenery and other visible signs of spring.

We passed by ponds or parts of the lake and didn't ask about those places as we regaled each other with stories of our lives; funny and lovely life stories that made us yearn all the more to visit the birthplace of William Shakespeare and the Beatles among others.

I didn't know what to expect from our visit to the convent. What I did know was that the group prayed for me the past two years when I was at my lowest point due to my breast cancer.

At that time in my life, among my precious recollections were of Gg sending me photos of her, Maita and other friends with the sisters of the convent.

These memories made me upbeat as we reached the monastery, a ranchhouse of sorts that stood on flat ground and surrounded by flowers and a Statue of the white Virgin Mary at the entrance at Ellesmere, Shrophire.

A woman with a cover on her head opened the wide door that was apparently locked inside and from where I sat in the truck, I can see that she is a nun.

The ladies in our group led by Maria stepped out of the vehicle and ran towards the sisters who were also excited to meet them as they hugged each other. The sisters received the rice, fish and cake from Dalian, cakes from Jacob and many more.

The nun who opened the door was Santa Pedra and she had many keys with her strapped on her waist. She told us she would see us at 1 pm.

With that reminder in mind, we decided to have lunch and left in search of a fish and chips place. 

We found one and Carmen paid for the orders. As we finished our meal, we had dessert of biko or “sticky sweet rice” brought by Dalian.

Dalian told us as we ate that she learned how to make biko from her grandmother during her childhood.

Dalian sold yema (a Filipino sweet custard confection made of condensed milk and eggs) at school and it went so well that she convinced her siblings to sell it too.e o

At 2 pm we were led to a receiving room and waited for the nuns who met us 30 minutes later. They wore the brown habit of St. Claire of Assisi. St. Claire is an Italian saint who was one of the first followers of St. Francis of Assisi,

Our visit was providential as it came on the annual commemoration of the Annunciation of the Lord. The tall nun with a clear face was from Sinabacan town in Misamis Occidental said the Annunciation was a holiday for them.

Since they are contemplative sisters, they stayed inside and pray most of the time. Prayer time consisted of reading psalms and hymns scheduled at 10 to 12 pm everyday.

Upon entering the convent, the nuns made the vows of poverty, chastity, obedience and enclosure along with a commitment to serve the Lord all the days of their lives.

I saw pure joy in their faces when we visited them. As we greeted each other, I learned that these nuns all came from various places in the Philippines—Leyte, Samar, Cebu, Sinabacan in Misamis Occidental and Kidapawan, Cotabato.

The Order of St. Clare have monasteries in Cebu City, Kidapawan and in Manila, Philippines. Thus it was no surprise that they were happy to see us “kababayans” from the Philippines.

As we talked, the mere mention of Filipino homegrown treats like siakoy, Goldilocks, biko and suman (sticky sweet rice snack) sent the sisters, who are in their late 30s to early 40s, into fits of giggles.

Which is no surprise as they have no TV, radio and even newspapers. Only one of them has a phone used only for emergencies and they spend most of their time in prayers, gardening, sewing and baking.

In case they get sick, they are brought to doctors and if they pass away, they are in a cemetery within the convent grounds. Sisters Bonaventure, Guiseppe, Divine, Stephanie,and Anne Joseph are headed by Mother Bernadette and Mother Carmel.

Before we left, they invited us and everyone to attend their May 6 anniversary and I promised them to invite those interested to join the observance and to pray for them.

Specific requirements are listed on their website. Before we left we wrote personal petitions for the sisters to pray for us and they did.

They also sang songs for us which touched me to my core and made my grandkid Jacob listen and behave. My husband Ronnie said the songs “were beautiful” and he was fortunate to hear them sing.

Thank you Dalian Dalugdog Sleigh, Carmen Salas Hewett, Maita Cabunoc P. Yestes and daughter Gg Boddison and grandson Jacob for the memorable trip.

Farewell Dr. Emmeline

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

Charlotte, North Carolina – A walk to raise awareness on Amgotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) will be held on April 20 by the Neri family in Raleigh, North Carolina in honor of the late Dr. Emmeline Ho Neri, wife of Andy Neri.

The Neri couple have four children—Ansell, Anthea Neri Best, Abegayle Neri and Andrew Brian Neri. Anthea made the announcement after her mom was laid to rest at the columbarium in St. Raphael Catholic Church at Raleigh last Feb. 28.

The walk will also raise funds for research on a cure for ALS which remains elusive as acknowledged by Reverend Fr. Bruce Bavinger, SJ, celebrant and homilist during the occasion.

Dr. Neri died last Feb. 21, about 10 days after she was honored in a party by the Filipino American Women  Association (GSS or Gabriela Silang) at Raleigh.

Tess Ferrer- Turner, a close family friend and past president of the Philippine American Association of North Carolina (PAANC) said she was surprised to see her friend already on the dance floor during the party.

Diagnosis
“She was so happy and she danced the cha-cha," Turner said. She said she was told later that Dr. Neri started to slow down after the party.

It was five years ago when the Neri family started to see changes in their matriarch's behavior.  

Two and a half years later, Anthea said they received word of her mother's diagnosis from Duke University that she had ALS and frontal lobe dementia.

Their initial shock was followed by denial and later acceptance. It was then that the children rallied behind their parents and Andy took care of Emmeline to her dying day.

Anthea said the family decided to travel and maximize whatever time they can spend with their mother over the next two years.  The Neri couple traveled through the US, Philippines, Disney and Mexico despite the doctor's frail condition.

“ALS and dementia were chipping away at her body but not her energy,” Anthea said. She said her father would dance with her mother, laugh with her and helped her shower daily.

Smartest woman

Andy also dyed his wife's hair, painted her nails and tried his best to do her makeup. There was never a day that went by that he didn’t tell her he loved her and that she was the smartest woman he knew.

Dr. Emneline was born Jan. 2 in Cadiz City, Philippines, the eldest of five children of a successful business owner.  She studied at the Southwestern University School of Medicine and earned her medical degree.

She opened her own practice and pharmacy.  While working at the hospital in Manila she met her husband Andy, a native of Tagoloan town in Misamis Oriental and part of the illustrious Neri clan.

Two of the Neri children, Ansell and Anthea, were born in the Philippines. The Neri couple decided to migrate to the US after the birth of their first two children. 

They settled first in Virginia as Andy continued working in the US Navy and Emmeline stopped working and took care of their growing family. Later, she went back to work when their children were big enough.

Took to heart
The Neri couple later had another daughter named Abegayle and a son, Andrew Brian. Dr. Emmeline also kept busy with volunteer work at the Filipino American Women's Association and hosted parties at their house.

For over 20 years, she worked as a medical professional in the justice department of the Federal Bureau of Prison.  During her stint there, Dr. Emmeline lobbied for better conditions for the inmates.

All four children shared lessons learned from their mother in separate eulogies duing the memorial service.  Son Ansell studied at the University of North Carolina Greensboro and is the president of June Neri Financial, Raleigh NC.  

Ansell is also past president of the Philippine American Association of North Carolina (PAANC).  During the service, Ansell said their mother took to heart her faith, her family's welfare and the community.

Ansell's sister Anthea Neri-Best holds a bachelor's degree in Clinical Laboratory Science at WCU. Anthea is also an actress, singer and Human Empowerment ambassador.

Unconditional love

Her mother's illness and death taught the Neri children some lessons on unconditional love. “They made their vow 40 years ago and that vow was tested everyday. I saw it first hand,” Anthea said.

Anthea also said she learned that time spent with family is valuable and irreplaceable.  Her sister Abegayle, a B.S Administration graduate at ECU is now connected with Omnicom Media Group, a leading global media network in New York City.

Abegayle said she learned from her mother to never buy designer shoes at full price and that life is what you make it. 

“Because of her, I learned to dare to dream big and know the value of hard work,” she said.  She also said her mother always put family first and it stuck with all of them.

The youngest Andrew Neri graduated from the University of North Carolina Greensboro and is in the US Coast Guard stationed in New York.  Andrew said his mother was a shield who taught him to believe in himself.

Last dance
“For the past five years I was able to spend time with my mother.  She was diagnosed with ALS two and a half years ago, which was about the same time I joined the army and they allowed me to go home every month to be with her.”

“I am happy I got to watch the Sound of Music on repeat with her.  I am happy I got to dance with her during our trip to Mexico  and I am happy she saved one last dance for me last week,” Andrew said in his eulogy.

When he talked about his siblings, Ansell said Andrew was awarded personally by the director of Homeland Security while sister Abegayle created ads for many Super Bowl events. Sister Anthea sang at the Carnegie Hall.

Anthea later said her mother treated everyone as her family and would take in her friends and treat them as her own.  “She had a truly giving heart and a calling to help others that will live on forever on the lives and hearts of those she had contact with,” she said.

In his homily, Fr. Bavinger confirmed that Andy and Dr. Emmeline stayed together until the end when it was time for her to go.  

He said Dr. Emmeline was a “woman of faith” and a devotee of the Holy Rosary whose life the faithful can learn so much from.  To her family, friends and everyone she touched during her lifetime, Dr. Emmeline will be sorely missed.